I guess I'm 24 now. 25 if I were in Korea.

Couple of things first:
- I can't believe my brother's getting married before 2011 hits. So surreal.
- I can't believe I'm gonna be one of the bridesmaids already... first time for everything
- I can't believe I still look like I'm 13.

Now I got all of my "I can't believe's" out of the way, onto deeper things. No, not really...

This year has been... hard. Definitely a humbling, humbling, year... I guess I must have been prideful beyond my imagination to feel THIS humbled and to know that I still have a bit more pride in me.

God has been so active in my life that my heart can't take it and my eyes need some time off from being so puffy! It's now 2010 and I can say that God loves me unconditionally and with great depth.

My new goal in life is to be forgiving.

I'm the best sinner alive. I sin left and right. front and back. No lie. I have no idea how I do it... But what's even more amazing is the transforming heart that God is molding after each event of sin. HOW forgiving is he! If he can forgive me for what I'VE done, how can I not forgive others for the smallest things they've done?

Maybe... just maybe I've grown a bit. I may look like I'm 13 years old... but have been touched by God for 24 years...

I had previously dedicated this blogger to postings regarding my spiritual walk.

God has been wonderful to me beyond I can fathom. Things definitely are NOT going the way I had imagined and planned, but I'm okay with that. In the end, whichever path I end up in will be the best one because it's the path that God has chosen for me before I was even conceived.

Just the thought of that is overpowering.

In the past, I took joy in my academics. Now, academics isn't the end to my means. Funny how God shapes the way you think and indirectly molds your life around Him.

Now, I'm not the girl that attends every church event. The reason used to be that I don't exactly get along with my church girls... well, let me rephrase that... I don't exactly find deep-connection with my church girls. I don't think there's anyone to blame for that. Just different personalities, different background, different culture, different way of thinking.... I had naively believed that all Korean Christian girls were like that. Silly me. I've started meeting girls that I get along SO incredibly with. I have no idea how... it's as though we've known each other for years.

Weird thing is that we all have the same last name, Park.
Weirder thing is that we're from the same clan of Park.

Anyway, it's pretty apparent that Christians grow as a community through interactions with one another. In my opinion (purely my opinion), I grow as a Christian by reaching out to non-Christians and being with them through their spiritual journey.

I used to not look favorably upon those I never got along with for the past 13 years. Now, I just hope that they'll warmly welcome those that God is bringing to CPC through me.

I'm 23 years old. Next year, I'll be 24.

This year has been full of blessings. God works in such a mysterious ways, and it's even more mysterious how He's opened my heart to see His work in progress.

After being contacted my all of my ex's from the past (since freshman year of college) and talking to them made me realize how much I have changed in the past five years.

A girl who went from a relationship to another, in search of someone who can calm me down, found herself feeling more secured than ever as a single 23 year old woman. I cannot credit this to myself... rather, I thank God and all those who crossed paths in my life.

I've hit the rock bottom when pride took over my identity. I lost everything. But it was then, when God lifted me up... even higher than ever before. Made me realize becoming a doctor is not my end goal. That's only the beginning to what God has planned for me.

I am no smarter than before, but feel more secured because of God's love and plan for me.

Gettin' SKOOLED

This entry waon't be a serious blog...

I've been at this Norris library since 8:45am. It's now 3:01 pm. Though I USED to like going to libraries and gettin' some work done, I've grown to NOT like this place at all.

Maybe it's not this library... maybe it's just me. Maybe I've grown to be more ADD than ever before. I wish I can just go to a doc and say, "doc, I have ADD... I need some pills."

Whenever I tell my mom that I think I have ADD, she gets offended. She tells me, "NUh UH! I didn't give birth to a mentally challenged child.." I know. So horrible that ADD is even considered, "mentally challenged" in my mom's mind...

The truth is, I DON'T have ADD... nor do I wish that I have it. I just want the benefit of taking adderall.

I am getting tired of studying. First they bombard us with useless classes that I find absolutely no interest in (EPIDEMIOLOGY)... then now, they're just stuffing us with TOO much information that IS useful and interesting to learn. They REALLY gotta ease up on this...

If the frontol cortex of human brain doesn't get completely developed till mid to late 20's why the hell are they doing this to us now? YES, by the time I get into med school and start learning things, I'll be reaching my mid-20s... till then, PLEASE HOLD.

¹⁸Do not deceive yourselves. If any one of you thinks he is wise by the standards of this age, he should become a "fool" so that he may become wise. ¹⁹For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God's sight. As it is written: "He catches the wise in their craftiness"^a]">[a]; ²⁰and again, "The Lord knows that the thoughts of the wise are futile."^b]">[b] ²¹So then, no more boasting about men! All things are yours, ²²whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas^c]">[c] or the world or life or death or the present or the future—all are yours, ²³and you are of Christ, and Christ is of God. --1 Corinthians 3:18-23

I always believed that things in my life happened for a reason. The passage above seems to explain very well why things happened thus far.

I was born into a Christian family. I went to church every single Sunday of my life since birth until college when my church going became more infrequent. Finally 23 years later, I want to live my life as a true Christian.

I've only started reading the Bible not too long ago... it's pretty amazing how this book reaches so closely to my heart...

I will dedicate this blog towards recording my spiritual journey.