I'm 23 years old. Next year, I'll be 24.

This year has been full of blessings. God works in such a mysterious ways, and it's even more mysterious how He's opened my heart to see His work in progress.

After being contacted my all of my ex's from the past (since freshman year of college) and talking to them made me realize how much I have changed in the past five years.

A girl who went from a relationship to another, in search of someone who can calm me down, found herself feeling more secured than ever as a single 23 year old woman. I cannot credit this to myself... rather, I thank God and all those who crossed paths in my life.

I've hit the rock bottom when pride took over my identity. I lost everything. But it was then, when God lifted me up... even higher than ever before. Made me realize becoming a doctor is not my end goal. That's only the beginning to what God has planned for me.

I am no smarter than before, but feel more secured because of God's love and plan for me.

Gettin' SKOOLED

This entry waon't be a serious blog...

I've been at this Norris library since 8:45am. It's now 3:01 pm. Though I USED to like going to libraries and gettin' some work done, I've grown to NOT like this place at all.

Maybe it's not this library... maybe it's just me. Maybe I've grown to be more ADD than ever before. I wish I can just go to a doc and say, "doc, I have ADD... I need some pills."

Whenever I tell my mom that I think I have ADD, she gets offended. She tells me, "NUh UH! I didn't give birth to a mentally challenged child.." I know. So horrible that ADD is even considered, "mentally challenged" in my mom's mind...

The truth is, I DON'T have ADD... nor do I wish that I have it. I just want the benefit of taking adderall.

I am getting tired of studying. First they bombard us with useless classes that I find absolutely no interest in (EPIDEMIOLOGY)... then now, they're just stuffing us with TOO much information that IS useful and interesting to learn. They REALLY gotta ease up on this...

If the frontol cortex of human brain doesn't get completely developed till mid to late 20's why the hell are they doing this to us now? YES, by the time I get into med school and start learning things, I'll be reaching my mid-20s... till then, PLEASE HOLD.

¹⁸Do not deceive yourselves. If any one of you thinks he is wise by the standards of this age, he should become a "fool" so that he may become wise. ¹⁹For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God's sight. As it is written: "He catches the wise in their craftiness"^a]">[a]; ²⁰and again, "The Lord knows that the thoughts of the wise are futile."^b]">[b] ²¹So then, no more boasting about men! All things are yours, ²²whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas^c]">[c] or the world or life or death or the present or the future—all are yours, ²³and you are of Christ, and Christ is of God. --1 Corinthians 3:18-23

I always believed that things in my life happened for a reason. The passage above seems to explain very well why things happened thus far.

I was born into a Christian family. I went to church every single Sunday of my life since birth until college when my church going became more infrequent. Finally 23 years later, I want to live my life as a true Christian.

I've only started reading the Bible not too long ago... it's pretty amazing how this book reaches so closely to my heart...

I will dedicate this blog towards recording my spiritual journey.

10:38AM Tuesday morning of Sept. 29th 2009

Location: Grand Library-USC

I have been complaining for the past 4-6 months or so (as far as I could remember) of how my life simply did not turn out exactly how I wanted it to be.

In the eyes of strangers I could always hide my sadness, bitterness, sense of failure, and self doubt... all you gotta do is just smile and walk away. But one thing I couldn't do was walking away from my self. The more I hid, the more heavy my heart fell.

The purpose of this entry, however, is not to end there.

SOMETHING happened beginning of this year. God happened.

In my attempt to introduce God to my friend, Michael, I ended up re-introducing God into my life. How God works so wonderfully...

I finally feel overjoyed with my life. I feel calm. I feel relaxed. I feel happy with where I am in my life. I feel happy with who I have become.

The girl who looked down on everyone's flaws became the girl with more flaws than anyone she has met and God helped see her sins. He helped her sympathize and have compassion for others. He helped her not be stumbled by others' sins; instead, He gave her the heart to help others... God's love is so over-powering it's hard to think about without tears.

God centered life IS by FAR the most rewarding life any one could ever live.

This journey I am on is one hell of a journey and I am loving every moment of it.